Last night as I was taking a bath, I kept hearing whispers to “tell my story.”
It was extremely confusing for me because you guys know my story, right?
How I went from having a ton of hormonal issues, emotional eating and other health issues and was able to turn it all around.
Then I heard another voice which was, “ No, the other one.”
My heart sank a bit because I knew exactly which one they (either my higher self or guides) were talking about.
The one I’m extremely proud of but only few people know about.
It’s the story that pretty much summarizes why I’m so passionate about what I teach. Why I quite literally run around Instagram and social media inspiring women to live out a passion filled life every chance I get.
As some of you may already know, I was married previously and got married at a very young age. It was one of those things that at the time, felt like it was right because A: we had been dating for awhile and B: did I mention I was really young when I got married?
All was well for the first 3 or so years, I kind of just did my own thing because he was always gone because of the military, and I was dancing and going to practice every other day so I felt fulfilled.
As time went on, I knew my time dancing was coming to an end and I really wanted to go back to school to become a nutritionist, so in 2014 I signed up for IIN which is the Institute of Integrative Nutrition.
YES! I found a passion and something to distract me from a loveless marriage. This is what I would tell myself and continue to brainwash myself with.
Little did i know, this school was not just about which foods to eat for which body type and how to heal certain conditions, this would be a large part of what I didn't realize would be part of my awakening.
Through the online classes I took I was introduced to Gabby Bernstein Lisa Nichols, and other amazing spiritual teachers which I didn't know much about at the time. I was religious and went to church, and that was all I really knew about a higher realm.
I had a few crystals here and there, but I only had them because they looked pretty.
Not long after being introduced to spirituality, all types of synchronicities started happening.
Angel numbers were left and right, books would quite literally fall off the shelves at Barnes and Noble that I knew I had to read, and I felt a huge sense of knowing I was on the wrong path.
Not necessarily on the wrong path of my calling, but with the wrong person. We had basically been roomates for the last two years, and if you’ve ever been in this situation after being married for a couple of years, you just start to justify that this is normal.
I justified it until I couldn’t ignore the signs any more.
I was starting to have dreams of being in a coffin and seeing my own funeral and that went on for weeks. Which I later was told by an intuitive that was my soul's last resort to get my attention.
I would get visions of my life 10 plus years from then and I felt a deep sense of regret, knowing I was in a passionless relationship and one where I didn’t follow through with my calling. And my heart began to hurt.
I started obsessively watching Youtube videos on anything spiritual I could get my hands on. Learned what white sage was, angel numbers, you name it, I watched it- and then also came across an intuitive (psychic) I decided to book an appt with.
She told me everything I already knew, that my soul was screaming for help. That she (my soul) didn’t like the energy I was around and she needed out. That I had a bigger and brighter calling ahead of me.
After doing deep reflection, praying, crying, driving for hours and never wanting to come home (this was the big one for me, I would always make excuses to not come home at night and stay at Target for like 6 hours looking at towels) I knew my intuition plus all of the signs plus what the intuitive told me, meant that I had to leave.
Then all of the fear set in.
I didn’t have my own bank account and had zero dollars to my name. I knew that if I was going to leave, I’d at least have to have enough for gas, a hotel and food to drive across the country and figure out the rest once I got there.
And here’s the thing that still BLOWS my mind to this day: I was such a type A and organized person who needed allllll the details back then that I wouldn’t even drive an hour away let alone leave an old life behind me driving across the country without knowing an exact plan.
I love knowing an itinerary and what’s happening yet in this moment, my intuition and knowing was so strong I didn’t even think about it.
I found some old savings bonds that my mom had given me from when I was younger and cashed them which ended up being around $500.
This sounds like such a fake story but honest to God, this is really how things went down.
I packed everything I could fit into my 4 Runner, leaving 80% of my things there and not really caring about the materialistic things. I just had this deep, DEEP knowing that this was right.
I remember calling my parents and telling them what I just did and felt nothing from support. My dad flew to Dallas to meet me halfway (I was in Nashville at the time) and we would drive back to Arizona together.
The whole time driving I wasn’t sad but felt a deep sense of freedom. I knew that this was right and all along the way were the angel numbers and synchronicities, and I knew I was on the right path and knew I was being guided and protected along the way.
I ended up living with my younger brother for about a month (which was extremely hard on my ego, let me tell you) then moved in with my aunt for an entire year.
I right away found a dream job working for Morellifit which some of you may still follow me from there which I appreciate, and I saved until I could get a place of my own.
Fast forward to today, I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I have my dream fiancee (he's more than I could have even dreamed of, actually) dream career, dream health, amazing friends, extremely supportive family, I feel more connected to my soul, God and the Universe than ever before, and none of this would have happened if I didn’t listen to myself. If I didn’t trust.
If I had let my ego get in the way. If I would have justified that I wouldn’t have to work a day in my life if I just sucked it up and stayed. If I would have settled.
If I would have let fear get in the way, and if I would have (and this one scares me more than anything) told the voice inside of me to quiet down and shut her out and chose not to listen to her and my intuition.
The reason why I tell you this story is not for you to reevaluate your relationship and drive across the country and find another. Though I know this message is for someone reading who's reading this.
The reason why I’m telling you this is to let you know that everything worth having takes risk.
It takes being scared and still doing it.
It takes not knowing the next step but trusting that it will be given to you.
It takes asking for help, even though you aren’t used to it.
It takes getting real and honest with yourself that if you don’t make a change you’ll live a life of regret.
Fear will never go away, ever. And if you use fear as an excuse for every time you want to make a change you'll never do it.
I knew and I still know to this day that I desire to play life full out. That I won’t settle and I want to be massively fulfilled and live in joy every single day.
Joy is our ultimate indicator of being in alignment with soul. It’s how we know we’re on the right path.
If you aren’t happy, make a decision to change it.
I promise you that you will look back one day as I am doing so now, and thank yourself for it.
You did what wasn't easy but you followed your heart.
I’m sharing this story with you because I have practiced in the largest way possible, creating the life that I want. That I deserve.
Reminding you that if you aren't fulfilled, you’re meant for more and the Universe has other plans.
I share the ways to live a high vibe life and to stop doing what isn’t serving you anymore because I have done exactly that.
Everything isn’t always peaches and cream every day, but it’s 3,000 times more fulfilling than what I would have experienced settling for my old life.
You are powerful.
You have everything you need.
If you want to change, change.
If you feel prompted to do something, do it.
Everything IS going to work out and better than you could have ever imagined.
And my intention is that this inspires you.
That you trust me and realize that I’m not just another person on Instagram giving you motivational quotes, and that you see that I actually have lived and will continue to live the principles I teach.
We have very limited time on this earth. Choose to wake up every day realizing you would have this life all over again if given the chance.
There are bigger things waiting for you, but you have to meet the Universe halfway.
I hope this has inspired your Monday to find what it is you’re looking for and know that if you believe and put forth the energy towards it, it will be given to you <3