How I Set Massive Boundaries And Protect My Energy
"Why are you so happy all the time?"
This was a question my niece asked while we were driving to dinner about 5 years ago and to this day I laugh about it and her confusion around it.
She was 5 years old at the time, and couldn't wrap her head around why I was almost never in a bad mood and bluntly asked me why I'm always so happy.
This was purely innocent, she was five, but I'm baffled that this question still gets asked as adults when we have complete control over our every action, who we surround ourselves with, and how we view life.
I was reminded of this the other day when I shared an Instagram story about a woman who called me prejudice and lacking compassion because I claim I only want to be around happy people all the time.
Queue crickets mixed with a confused face….and this time I didn't laugh.
She stated that I shouldn’t cut people out of my life just because they don’t have my same vibe or share my joy for life.
My first reaction to this was ironically a massive amount of compassion— because I too have fallen victim to people pleasing and absorbing other people’s energy, while completely draining my own.
Putting everyone else FIRST before my own needs and using every justification possible.
“She needs me, what I’m doing right now can wait.”
“If I just go to this dinner, maybe I’ll have a great time and I can work out and get my needs taken care of later this week.”
“I know that at some point this relationship will turn around if I just stick it out. At one point he HAS to change.”
We will never be able to fix, change, alter, or mold people. The only thing we can do is be the example, that’s it. Once you learn this it can save you YEARS of people pleasing and sacrificing your own happiness.
Here are some things I now ask myself when voluntarily being in others energy:
Is this energy exchange mutual? Are they reciprocating or is this a one way relationship?
Do I feel better in this person's presence? (Online presence counts also)
Are we inspiring each other to be better versions of ourselves?
Does this relationship add to my life, or drain it?
If you aren’t asking yourself these questions and just saying yes to everything and everyone in life, you will never gain true happiness for yourself.
You won’t be able to tell the difference between a surface relationship of friends, and deep meaningful relationships.
You’ll think that being dumped on by complaints every day by your co-workers and boss is normal, and you’ll go home hating life and this vicious circle will never end. Choose yourself first before anyone else. Put your needs FIRST. And you aren’t required to surround yourself with anyone that makes you feel less than or lowers your vibe.
Setting massive boundaries is what I believe can shift your life in dramatic ways. Boundaries is self love.
Don’t underestimate the power you have to choose only the things and people who bring you a massive amount of JOY.
And PS! My HiVibe Membership Program is launching THIS WEEK! Choose to be surrounded by a tribe of women who get you, who are on your level of wanting to improve their lives every single day.
Oh and want to be happy every single day, because this is the goal and you should NEVER let anyone make you think otherwise.